New Year-Deep Thoughts

I still need to blog about the fun day I had giving the mi casa girls the flowers for their hair that my granddaughter Sadie made with her friends and the gift bags my sisters, daughters, sisters-in law, and daughters-in law sent for the girls.  But for some reason I can't put any pictures on my blog so I am waiting until I am able to overcome that obstacle.  So, uncharacteristically, I am going to share a few deep thoughts in honor of the new year. 

I was cleaning the counter off this morning when I noticed a slip of paper with a quote from Jeffrey R. Holland that must have been handed out for a lesson in Sunday School or Relief Society. 
"The past is to be learned from but not lived in.  We look back to claim the embers from glowing experiences but not the ashes.  And when we have learned what we need to learn and have brought with us the best that we have experienced, then we look ahead and remember that faith is always pointed toward the future.   Faith always has to do with blessings and truths and events that will yet be efficacious in our lives.

So a more theological way to talk about Lot's wife is to say that she did not have faith.  She doubted the Lord's ability to give her something better than she already had.  Apparently, she thought that nothing that lay ahead could possibly be as good as what she was leaving behind."  ("The Best Is Yet to Be", Ensign, Jan. 2010, 22-27).
Years ago, a wonderful friend of mine, Michelle, shared an experience with our Book Club group that she had about letting go of something " a mind set, a belief of what her life should be to a certain extent"  She described what a difficult time she had letting go and how she had prayed and struggled for a period of time.  She explained that when she was finally able to let go, in a sense, give it up to the Lord, He replaced it with a change of heart  in her life that served her so much better than what she had been holding on to that she though she needed. 

I have since had several experiences in my life of  letting go of ideas or mind sets I thought were necessary to who I was.  This usually happened as experiences with my children and time on my knees taught me things I really needed to know.  The Lord taught me through these experiences with my children what I needed to let go of  to come closer to Him.  He always replaced these ideas I thought I had to hang on to with wonderful life changes within me that served me so much better in my journey through life than what I had relinquished.  They were life changes that stayed with me and changed my whole outlook on life and not just the problem I was currently encountering.  Until I re-read Brother Holland's remarks, I really hadn't thought about those experiences in the context of faith, which, of course, is exactly what they were. Each time I went through one of these difficult experiences I had to come to the point where I gave the problem up to the the Lord and could finally be humble enough to say, "Okay, I'm ready.  Please tell me what I  need to do." (not what does my child need to do, but me.)  

I have come to believe that our whole journey through this life is about how well do we love those around us and meet their needs as the Savior would have us do. "I think His question to us will be "How well did you love and serve my children?"   This process is all about discovering along the way, the things we need to let go of in our lives and our thought processes that will allow us to feel and think more like the Savior.  It is usually a time of stress that allows us to see our weaknesses and humble ourselves enough to allow the Savior to teach us through the Spirit what we need to let go of to see others and our challenges as He would.  We need to have the faith to understand as Lot's wife didn't, that He will always replace what we let go of with something better.  As we look back on these difficult experiences that bring us to our knees, we will see them as sweet rather than difficult because of the wonderful changes within our hearts that we receive from Him through our faith in letting go of what is what is holding us back.

So my hope for the new year is that I will be able to have enough faith to allow the Savior to teach me through the Spirit what I need to let go of to better Serve Him.  Each time I review the experiences with my children that brought me to my knees, I am forever grateful  for the embers, the glowing experiences and gifts I received because of them.  I am in awe of what they went through to teach me.  The ashes, the difficult experiences, now are swept away.  I now remember those experiences only with joy and gratitude.